Living in the dark
I watched a documentary the other day called Total Isolation, in which six subjects were put into isolated cells in complete darkness, and in two cases also blindfolded and succumbed to white noise for 48 hours. It was an experiment in sensory deprivation, a method said to have been used as a form of torture and interrogation strategy in prisoner or war camps in Korea in the 50’s. Without any stimulation to the brain for prolonged periods of time, victims of this treatment do not just become disoriented and restless, it can have a bizarre effect on the mind itself. The thought process slowed down, becoming more difficult to follow through, and in the absence of nothing, the brain even conjured up its own means of entertainment, hallucinations in the dark.
It seemed a strange, even banal means of torture to me when I first heard of it, but then again it is perhaps one of the most difficult situations to imagine even a hint of what it might feel like. There is almost nothing comparable to solitary, let alone solitary confinement and total silence that I can relate to. The only thing I have come across is Nyepi day on the island of Bali, in which the whole island shuts themselves away in their homes for an entire day unable to use electricity or make noise, to deceive the evil spirits said to be roaming the streets. That was quiet, and peaceful, but there was still sunlight during the day, movement and muffled noises in the surrounding area. That was a form of bliss, nothing close to sensory deprivation.
To have nothing around you but blackness, enough to not be able to see your hands in front of your face, no whisper of noise but the sound of your own voice, and completely alone with yourself constantly, having no sense of time at all… the agony of absolute boredom is something I can somehow relate to, as those of you who know me will confirm, but not to this extent. How long would you last? I’m not sure I would last more than a few hours, counted on one hand, in those conditions.
It fascinates me, how strange we are that the thought of nothingness petrifies; that our own interminable company will eventually become unpalatable; that pure boredom can in fact be one of the most unbearable challenges to face… it occurred to me that we are constantly surrounded by things around us that affirm our place in the sensory world, the most minimal of things, whether the feeling of rain on your face, the touch of a warm cup of coffee or a conversation on the phone. They offer to reassure us that we are here, present and alive. When all of that is taken away, it seeks to impinge on our very sense of reality (as we currently understand it of course : ). I know we often like to think of ourselves as very independent people (myself very much included), but I am coming to think we seek and thrive from this wealth of continuous affirmations more than we would want to admit to, reminders of our sense of place, even sense of self.
Rx
